The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize