I just made out with a guy for $7.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
