You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
