I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
