Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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