Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
