then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
