OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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