Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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