We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
