how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
