he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
