hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
