It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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