Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Randomize
