I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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