Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
