You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
