i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
