so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
