no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
