there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I still have a little drunk in my system
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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