I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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