he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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