You can't motorboat a personality
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
