I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
