Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
