Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
