How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
