dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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