I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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