I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
