so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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