just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
