can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
