HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
