Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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