She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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