so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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