Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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