listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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