i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My bed smells like the plague
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
