I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
