I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Houston, we have a squirter
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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