it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
