just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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