I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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