Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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