im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
