k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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